Thursday, June 26, 2008

Oh Mario!

My guess is that the next letter is an 'N'.

Monday, June 23, 2008

My first day of summer

The true story of when Little Man met his doppelganger

I want to tell this story from a non-lil man point of view....considering by the time Little Man met his Doppelganger, he had an excess to drink. He was drunk by the time I met him at 7:30, having been bar hopping solo in the city then awaiting my arrival at a Brooklyn bar with a glass of scotch and a beer. He was, at this point, offensive to others (definitely not me as I do not offend easily).

But I was the "one without tattoos"! Also, Laphroaig 10yo is delicious!!!

While at dinner over Indian food, Little Man had googly eyes and was screaming way too loudly about vaginas and "hairy cups."

Actually, I think it was furry cups, and my melodious tunes were nary above a stage whisper.

By the time we got to Dave's friend's party, Little Man insulted several people, including the host.

Slander. You'll be hearing from my team of diligent and astute attorneys and barristers shortly.

Little Man threw trash on the host's birthday cake plate while he was eating his own birthday cake.
O come on, said trash was an itsy bitsy receipt wadded up, with which I was actually playing Paper Football with the host.
To which the host replied " wow, seriously dude, that's fucked up."

His wonderful taste in bourbon of the Maker's Mark bottling ensures we were BFFs by the point in the evening, thus rendering this quote maliciously vilifying. The counsel's tumescence swells.

Little Man made some more offensive comments to others,

Only to you.

including a comment directed to the South American guest named Hugo, little man screamed " Can you believe this guy's name is Google!?!?"

Also directed to you, not Google.

Now, the moment of reckoning came when I noticed that Dave's coworker was in attendance, sitting on the couch. He is not a dwarf, nor a midget, but rather a true "little man" coming in at about 4'10". I saw impending doom and disaster as he came over to say hello to us. Now, Dave made the initial mistake of introducing Nick to the real little man as "Little Man," I mean, how else do you introduce Nick to people? Certainly not as "Nick." So, I could see, immediately, in Dave's eyes, as the words came out of his mouth, that he knew he had fucked up. So, here is the question.... if you were Nick Little Man, do you:

1) say " Nice to meet you" to the real little man and go about your business
2) begin a long winded and unspecific explanation of why your nickname is Little Man, that can be seen as incredibley insensitive to outside observers.

3) introduce yourself as Little Man, and then begin a concise explanation of the moniker (which is what happened).

addendum: if people find it insensitive to meet someone who gets dumped with a nickname due to being short, hairy, and hoary voiced at 14 years of age, then they can fuck right off. Lyk srlsly.

The doppelganger little man replied with "Yeah, I wouldn't know anything about that...." and walked away on his little legs.

T, FTFY.

Our Little Man claims that he didn't realize that the real Little Man was a little man, even though he was Nick's height while Nick was sitting and he was standing. There were many gaping mouths.

This is true, and it was about 3 seconds after I saw your faces, looked back over to the doppelganger, and thought, "Oh, Ohhh, Ohhhhhhhh!". Ps--there's no way in fuckballs I'm 4'10" sitting.

I thought it was fucking hilarious, others did not. I mean, when the fuck will Little Man have a meeting with a true little man in my presence. Allah hath alligned the stars for such.

The take home message. Ps-Elijah had a hand in this as well.

Don't worry Little Man, Dave apologized for you.

My formidable counsel advises me against such course, and they demand that he rescind his apology on my behalf effective immediately.

I love you unconditionally.

I love you unconditionally, too.

The true story of when Little Man met his doppelganger

I want to tell this story from a non-lil man point of view....considering by the time Little Man met his Doppelganger, he had an excess to drink. He was drunk by the time I met him at 7:30, having been bar hopping solo in the city then awaiting my arrival at a Brooklyn bar with a glass of scotch and a beer. He was, at this point, offensive to others (definitely not me as I do not offend easily). While at dinner over Indian food, Little Man had googly eyes and was screaming way too loudly about vaginas and "hairy cups."

By the time we got to Dave's friend's party, Little Man insulted several people, including the host. Little Man threw trash on the host's birthday cake plate while he was eating his own birthday cake. To which the host replied " wow, seriously dude, that's fucked up." Little Man made some more offensive comments to others, including a comment directed to the South American guest named Hugo, little man screamed " Can you believe this guy's name is Google!?!?"

Now, the moment of reckoning came when I noticed that Dave's coworker was in attendance, sitting on the couch. He is not a dwarf, nor a midget, but rather a true "little man" coming in at about 4'10". I saw impending doom and disaster as he came over to say hello to us. Now, Dave made the initial mistake of introducing Nick to the real little man as "Little Man," I mean, how else do you introduce Nick to people? Certainly not as "Nick." So, I could see, immediately, in Dave's eyes, as the words came out of his mouth, that he knew he had fucked up. So, here is the question.... if you were Nick Little Man, do you:

1) say " Nice to meet you" to the real little man and go about your business
2) begin a long winded and unspecific explanation of why your nickname is Little Man, that can be seen as incredibley insensitive to outside observers.

The real Little Man replied with "Yeah, I can understand...." and walked away on his little legs.

Our Little Man claims that he didn't realize that the real Little Man was a little man, even though he was Nick's height while Nick was sitting and he was standing. There were many gaping mouths.

I thought it was fucking hilarious, others did not. I mean, when the fuck will Little Man have a meeting with a true little man in my presence. Allah hath alligned the stars for such.

Don't worry Little Man, Dave apologized for you.

I love you unconditionally.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

i met my little man doppelgÄnger (the non-ironical version)

Last night, somewhere in Jackson Heights, I introduced myself as Little Man to someone who was, unbeknownst to me, an actual little man. Let's just say tactfulness isn't my strong suit, and leave it at that. Retrospectively, I confess it was funny when I explained to him the ontogeny of the nickname Little Man.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Friday, June 13, 2008

Sweet Dreams, Eyes.

If the Eyes has night terrors again, here's why:

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

CARTER 3 available now


Weezy really went for it this time.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Monday, June 09, 2008

First Water-Slide Looping in Germany



boys, it's time to take it to the next level...and i'm not just talkin about speedos.

next show...same as the first

water proof cameras rule

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Monday, June 02, 2008

The Hurricane is Landing

Saturday morning.
I am competing in a triathalon on Sunday morning, so I may stay the night at Beth's, not sure yet. I will, however, be staying the night on Sunday.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

dudes

i would like to copy-paste something funny or relevant, but all I can think of is Ice Pirates.


Lil man and i sat through this space oddity, braving the jokes and pony tails. Since at least half of the readers/contributors of TSPT work at a video store, maybe we could have a round table talk in the comments section. Castration, new fonts, and some really quirky robots all show up in this digital delight. The ending is really good, btw, totally worth the time investment.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Friday, May 16, 2008

Obese blamed for the world's ills


Obese people are contributing to the world food crisis and climate change, experts say.

The London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine calculated the obese consume 18% more calories than average.

They are also responsible for using more fuel, which has an environmental impact and drives up food prices as transport and agriculture both use oil.

The result is that the poor struggle to afford food and greenhouse gas emissions rise, the Lancet reported.

It comes as the World Health Organization predicts the obese population will double by 2015 to 700m.

Transport and food policy and the importance of sustainable transport must not be overlooked
Dr Phil Edwards, report co-author
In the UK, nearly a quarter of adults are classed obese, twice as many as there were in the 1980s.

The team found that obese people require 1,680 daily calories to sustain normal energy and another 1,280 to maintain daily activities - a fifth more than normal.

The higher consumption of food has a two-fold effect, researchers said.

First of all the increasing demand for food, drives up production.

This means that agricultural processes are using more oil to meet demand, which contributes to the rising cost of fuel.

The cost of fuel is then passed on in the cost of food, making it more difficult for poorer areas to afford it.

Prices

What is more, the researchers said obese people are likely to rely on transport more and put more strain on that transport because of their mass, which again drives up prices and usage.

But the researchers said there was a solution.

Phil Edwards, who co-authored the article, said: "Urban transport policies that promote walking and cycling would reduce food prices by reducing the global demand for oil and promotion of a normal weight.

And they added: "Decreased car use would reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

"Transport and food policy and the importance of sustainable transport must not be overlooked."

But Dr David Haslam, of the National Obesity Forum, said it was "stretching it a bit" to blame the obese in the way.

"Really, it is discriminatory towards obese people. They are an easy target at the moment, but I think the causes of climate change and rising food prices is much more complex."

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/7404268.stm

Published: 2008/05/16 09:59:04 GMT

© BBC MMVIII