Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Evil Biologist
Want to watch a movie Sunday night? Maybe a decent one? Maybe cook some food?
Also, I passed out during the first Life of Birds, so let me know if you still want to hold hands and eat some popcorn.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
can't touch deez
"Music Thing: Scrambled Hackz
Each week Tom Whitwell of Music Thing highlights the best of the new music gear that's coming out, as well as noteworthy vintage equipment:
It's like Karaoke gone wrong. You sing into the mic, but something very different comes out of the speakers. It's a jerky, warped version of MC Hammer trying to sing what you sang. Scrambled Hackz is a cobbled together mixture of ordinary hardware and extraordinary software, running across three programming languages.
Sven König, who designed it, calls it a Realtime-Mind-Music-Video-Re-De-Construction-Machine, and does a great job of explaining the whole system in this video (Also available here on YouTube). First, a source track is chopped into slices, each 1/16th of a beat long. Each slice has it's sound spectrum analysed, and is dropped into a database.
The fun starts when new audio comes into the system through the microphone. It is similarly sliced up, in real time. Each chunk is compared to the database, which starts spitting out chunks of the original source track (and it's accompanying video) to match the audio input.
In fact, singing doesn't work that well - the system certainly can't match words intelligibly. But human beatboxing into the mic sounds incredible, turning your boom-ka into kicks and snare drums from the original track. As an interface for a sampler, the human voice is a lot more intuitive than a keyboard and a bunch of knobs.
Sven has used the system (loaded with a ghastly collection of 80s hits) for live performance, and as a hysterical gallery installation. He's planning to release the software, currently a mess of C , Python and Pure Data, under the GNU GPL once he’s cleaned it up."
check the video.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Friday, March 24, 2006
A Dozen New Rules for 2006
more e-mail from the grandfather...
1. Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: he's mowing my lawn.
2. Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
3. Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: Lucky Bastards.
4. Ladies, leave your eyebrows a lone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
5. There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some Bourbon over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
6. The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.
7. Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. Its right above the crack of your ass and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
8. Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
9. If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
10. No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the middle class version of looting.
11. No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
12. When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Snakes on a Plane
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5298003
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
top songs to listen to while admiring yourself in the mirror...
before school: berlin - take my breath away
lunchtime: billy ocean - loverboy
pre-evening: eddie money - take me home tonight
pre-bedtime hygiene: rockwell - somebody's watching me
Wait for the finale
http://marketplace.espeakers.com/movie.php?sid=5290&aid=10558
OKAY that link doesn't link directly or whatever. LAME. But I'll glady show it to anyone or forward the e-mail.
In its place I reccomend the cat video I'll post above.
Question: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
A use of MySpace even Daniel can condone...
Rock on: http://www.filecabi.net/v/file/1118219367/wmv
Monday, March 20, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
The Southpaw from Philly...
Friday, March 17, 2006
The truth about "Texas Cold"
The word Cerveza is Spanish for beer. It was just a fun thing added to our packaging making it pretty unique.
Thank you for your continued support and loyalty to our fine product, Lone Star, The National Beer of Texas.
LONG LIVE LONGNECKS!
Dottie Huckle
Admin. Asst.
Pabst Brewing Co./Lone Star
San Antonio, TX
Monday, March 13, 2006
Science Monday (or O, those freaky deaky Dutch)
Abstract
Objective: To find out whether taking images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and to find out whether former and current ideas about the anatomy during sexual intercourse and during female sexual arousal are based on assumptions or on facts.
Design: Observational study.
Setting: University hospital in the Netherlands.
Methods: Magnetic resonance imaging was used to study the female sexual response and the male and female genitals during coitus. Thirteen experiments were performed with eight couples and three single women.
Results: The images obtained showed that during intercourse in the "missionary position" the penis has the shape of a boomerang and 1/3 of its length consists of the root of the penis. During female sexual arousal without intercourse the uterus was raised and the anterior vaginal wall lengthened. The size of the uterus did not increase during sexual arousal.
Conclusion: Taking magnetic resonance images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and contributes to understanding of anatomy.
Here's Figure 2 from the manuscript, and the relevant descriptive text. Wow!
Figure 2:Midsagittal image of the anatomy of sexual intercourse envisaged by R L Dickinson and drawn by R S Kendall.
The first careful study since the sketch by Leonardo da Vinci is of the interaction of male and female human genitals during coitus was published by Dickinson in 1933 (fig 2). A glass test tube as big as a penis in erection inserted into the vagina of female subjects who were sexually aroused by clitoral stimulation (occasionally with a vibrator) guided him in constructing his pictorial supposition.
Here's a picture of the "boomerang" penis shape described in the abstract
evening films + free parties
[X] 06:30PM a/k/a Tommy Chong (Alamo S. Lamar 1)
[X] 09:45PM Punk Like Me (ACC)
[X] 04:00PM High Score (Dobie)
[X] 09:00PM East Austin Stories (Hideout)
After Party 9pm / Velvet Spade (at corner of Red River and 10th) - Consumating
Tuesday, 14 March 2006
[X] 06:45PM East of Havana (Paramount)
[X] 09:45PM loudQUIETloud: a film about the Pixies (Alamo S. Lamar 1)
[X] 11:59PM S&Man (Alamo Downtown)
[X] 07:30PM The Treasures of Long Gone John (Dobie)
[X] 09:00PM East Austin Stories (Hideout)
[X] 09:30PM Rank (Alamo Downtown)
[X] 09:30PM The King (Paramount)
[X] 10:00PM Suffering and Smiling (ACC)
[X] 11:59PM Fuck (Alamo S. Lamar 1)
Wednesday, 15 March 2006
[X] 01:30PM Before the Music Dies (Paramount)
[X] 02:00PM Music Is My Life, Politics My Mistress (Dobie)
[X] 04:30PM Letters From the Other Side (ACC)
[X] 09:30PM V For Vendetta (Paramount)
Thursday, 16 March 2006
[X] 04:30PM Neil Young: Heart of Gold (Paramount)
[X] 07:15PM High Score (ACC)
[X] 09:45PM Air Guitar Nation (ACC)
Friday, 17 March 2006
[X] 11:00AM The Treasures of Long Gone John (ACC)
[X] 09:30PM State Vs Reed (Alamo Downtown)
R Kelly @ UT – 8pm
Wednesday
RED EYED FLY 12p-7p
12:30 BROKEDOWN
1:15 CASTANETS
2:00 DENGUE FEVER
2:45 BRIGHT CHANNEL
3:30 THE OCTOPUS PROJECT
4:30 DIAMOND NIGHTS
5:30 CALLA
423 Tillery (near E. 5th and Tillery, starts at 4pm)
Circle Takes the Square (7pm), Meneguar, Architects, Lonely Ritual
Emo's Annex (across Red River from Emo's)
Heavyweight Dub Champion w/ special guests Dr. Israel & AWOL One (5:15pm), Dengue Fever (4:30pm), The Slip (3:45pm), The Mutts (3:15pm), Oranger (2:30pm), Magneta Lane (2pm), Phosphorescent (1:30pm), The Herms (1pm)
Mrs. Bea's on the Rambler (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
The Double (7pm), Psychic Ills (6pm), Die! Die! Die! (5pm), Matt and Kim (4pm), Ill Ease (3pm), Shellshag (2pm), People (1pm) at Mrs. Bea's on the patio stage (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
ATX Magazine's After Hours Soiree with
Special guest (4:10am), special guest (3:30am, Austin, TX - Black Angels?), The High Dials (2:50am), special guest (2:10am, London), special guest (1:40am, London), Harrisons (1:10am), Lomita (12:40am), Modena Vox (12:10am), Brothers and Sisters (11:50pm), For Those Who Know (11:30pm), Loxsly (11:10pm) at 5th and IH35 (21+ only, badges and wristbands free, small donation otherwise, free beer)
Thursday
Auditorium Shores
Mr. Lif 5:30 p.m.
Blackalicious 6:30 p.m.
Spoon 7:00 p.m.
Echo & The Bunnymen 8:00 p.m.
Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., outside stage)
The Fuckemos (7:15pm), the Bellrays (6:30pm), Kalas (5:45pm), Zombi (5pm), Witch (4:15pm), Ozbow (3:30pm), Afrirampo (2:45pm), Art Brut (2pm), The Black Angels (1:15pm), Serena Maneesh (12:30pm)
Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., inside stage)
Lady Sovereign (7:30pm), Spank Rock (6:45pm), Test Icicles (6:15pm), Plan B (5:30pm), ZZZ (4:45pm), Rahim (4pm), Tarantula A.D. (3:15pm), Brightblack Morning Light (2:30pm), Jim Noir (1:45pm), Envelopes (1pm)
Longbranch Inn (1133 E. 11th St.)
Quintron & Miss Pussycat (7:30pm), Rye Coalition (6:45pm), Tyrades (6:15pm), Fatal Flyin' Guilloteens (5:30pm), Russian Circles (4:45pm), Everloving Lightningheart (4pm), Islands (3:15pm), Jakobinarina (2:30pm), The Joggers (1:45pm), Quit Your Day Job (1pm) at the Fri.
cheapo
Matthew Hebert (8pm) -
Flamingo Cantina (noon - 6pm)
Kill Rock Stars Party - Comet Gain, Wooden Wand and the Vanishing Voice, Spider and the Webs, Knife Skills, Imaad Wasif
3810 Sycamore Dr. (free)
The 11th Annual SXEast Austin with
Pink Mountaintops (6pm), The Lemurs (5pm), The Long Winters (4pm), Rocky Votolato (3pm), Figurines (2pm), Ranson Tullis & the Luxury Liners (1pm)
Friday
Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., outside stage)
Kinky Friedman (7:15pm), Roky Erickson (6:30pm), Favourite Sons (5:45pm), Towers of London (5pm), Priestess (4:15pm), Morning After Girls (3:30pm), Noisettes (2:45pm), Guillemots (2pm), Mystery Jets (1:15pm), Man Man (12:30pm), DJs Kris Chen, Knox Robinson at
Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., inside stage)
You Say Party! We Say Die! (7:30pm), Annie (6:45pm), The Presets (6:15pm), Kid 606 (5:30pm), Drop the Lime (4:45pm), Cadence Weapon (4pm), Dead Boy and the Elephant Men (3:15pm), Micah P. Hinson (2:30pm), Lonely Dear (1:45pm), Tuung (1pm) at
Longbranch Inn (1133 E. 11th St.)
Vaux (7:30pm), Whitehouse (6:45pm), Saviours (6:15pm), CROM (5:30pm), Diamond Nights (4:45pm), Whitey Houston (4pm), High Dials (3:15pm), Foreign Born (2:30pm), The Affair (1:45pm), Elliott Brood (1pm) at the
RED EYED FLY
4:30 BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE
Pok-E-Jos
5:15 - 6:00 - Robert Pollard
Sound On Sound Records and Room Service (100 block of North Loop)
Chunklet/Monitor/Buddyhead day (and maybe night) party with
New Flesh (8:30pm), Thunderbirds Are Now! (8pm), Jai Alai Savant (7:30pm), Baroness (7pm), Comet Gain (6:30pm), Magnolia Electric Co. (6pm), Big Bear (5:30pm), Hudson Bell (5pm), Fatal Flyin' Guilloteens (4:30pm), Torche (4pm), Part Chimp (3:30pm), Rye Coalition (3pm), Elf Power (2:30pm), The Carbonas (2pm), Black Heart Procession (1:30pm), The Selmanaires (1pm), Ted Leo (12:30pm), Swearing at Motorists (noon)
(1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Todd P and the Rambler present
Drums and Tuba (9pm), Wooden Wand (8pm), Jack Rose (ex-Pelt, 7pm), Parts and Labor (6pm), Bring Back the Guns (5pm), Knife Skills (4pm), Ghengis Tron (3pm), JEFF (2pm), The Old Haunts (1pm), Awesome Cool Dudes (noon) at Mrs. Bea's on the patio stage
(1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Walken (8:30pm), Kalas (members of High On Fire, 7:30pm), The Bats (NZ, 6:30pm), Very Be Careful (5:30pm), nO things (4:30pm), Cortina (NZ, 3:30pm), DC Snipers (2:30pm), Zombi (1:30pm), Hightower (12:30pm), Night After Night (11:30am) at Mrs. Bea's on the Rambler
Emo's Annex (across Red River from Emo's, doors open at noon)
The Windish Agency/Pitchfork party with
Art Brut (5:30pm), Rjd2 (DJ set, 5pm), Love is All (4:30pm), Matthew Dear (DJ set, 4pm), Hot Chip (3:30pm), Spank Rock (3pm), The Juan Maclean (2:30pm), Ladytron (DJ set, 1:30pm), José González (1pm), Death Vessel (12:30pm)
Emo's IV (601 Red River)
SC Distribution presents
Frog Eyes (5pm), Horns of Happiness (4:15pm), My Brightest Diamond (3:15pm), Psychic Ills (2:30pm), Karl Blau (1:45pm), Evangelicals (1pm), Castanets (12:15pm)
Club Deville (900 Red River)
Insound party with
Clap Your hands Say Yeah (5:35pm), Serena Maneesh (4:45pm), , Pink Mountaintops (3:55pm), The Boy Least Likely To (3:05pm), Love is All (2:15pm)
Friday Night
Management Music Division and Team Clermont present The Eastside Scootenanny with
Fiery Furnaces (10:15pm), Earlimart (9:30pm), Friends of Dean Martinez (8:45pm), John Vanderslice (8pm), Crystal Skulls (7:15pm), Scout Niblet (6:30pm), Joggers (5:45pm), Zykos (5pm), The Glass Family (4:15pm), The Brokedown (3:30pm), Vacation Gold (2:45pm), Dynamo (2pm) at Red's Scoot Inn (1308 E.4th St., 2-11pm)
Big Orange Warehouse – Across from Austin Daze
afterhours party with Voxtrot, Sound Team, others TBA at Big Orange
Saturday 18th
Mrs. Bea's on the Rambler (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Todd P and the Rambler present
Carinne Rose (9pm), Night After Night (8pm), Tomorrow's Friend (7pm), DMBQ (Japan, 6pm), Big Bear (5pm), zZz (NL, 4pm), Graycion (3pm), Nat Baldwin and Spencer Kingman (2pm), Walken (1pm), Hightower (noon) at Mrs. Bea's on the patio stage (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Celebration (8:30pm), Rogers Sisters (7:30pm), Bad Wizard (6:30pm), Mikaela's Friend (5:30pm), Dirty Projectors (4:30pm), Coco Solid (NZ, 3:30pm), Spider and the Webs (ex-Bikini Kill, 2:30pm), Pterodactyl (1:30pm), Best Fwends (12:30pm)
207 E. 53rd St. (North Loop and Avenue F)
Northern Star Records Showcase AKA North Loop Block Party with
The High Dials, The Black Angels, Vandelles, Lovetones, Quarter After, Brian Jonestown Massacre
802 SAN MARCOS STREET -- Noon to 8 PM
The Magic Numbers,Witch (feat. J Mascis and members of Feathers),Mazarin (feat. members of Blood Feathers),Gris Gris,Mike Wexler,Lavender Diamond,Nethers,Archie Bronson Outfit,Collosal Yes,Tralala,Muldoons (Mini-Set),Death Vessel (Mini-Set)
Saturday night
Kemado Records/Decibel Invaders party with
Dungen, The Sword, Witch, Saviours at Austin Daze (East 4th St., across from Big Orange, next to Red's Scoot Inn)
Sunday night
Alejandro Escovedo (midnight), Grady (11pm), The Word Association (10pm), Sally Timms and Jon Langford (9pm), john Schooley and his One Man Band (8:10pm), Pete Wylie (7:40pm), Nick Tremulis (7pm) at the Continental Club (doors at 7:30pm)
more alcohol = lowered productivity (a blog expose)
Friday, March 10, 2006
Quashed
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
The Hurricane Has Landed!
Harry did his best to console her, arm draped across her back just so, but inside he was sad. For weeks Haryy hadn't seen his mother, and this is the quality time she promised to spend with him? Just look at his face, look how disappointed he is.
Before you go feeling too sorry for that little cat, keep in mind he's a bit of a hyporcite himslef. Lately he's taken to food like mommy did the sauce. Nearly doubling his weight, Harry now weighs a portly 10lbs. Just last week a binge on Alley Cat left him puking on Elliott's couch, too bloated to move.
PPDeez nuts!
Seriously, ain't this blog making enough bank to pay for the connection yet? Maybe it's time we started selling SPT merch too.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Thursday, March 02, 2006
$10 blow-jobs from latino she-males
Liver Regeneration.....ummm, is that what you call pissing yourself?
Now, I hear some nasty rumors; rumors of puking, blacking out and pissing oneself. Surely when you first decided to tackle this proverbial monkey on your backs, it was to clean up your act, not fucking binge on booze a few weeks later. Look in the mirror at yourselves.
Chill out boys, save some partying for Saturday when I get home. Hey eyes, thanks for puking on my bed shitbag. And Sammy, just because you're a cripple now, doesn't mean you can get away with that shit.
And Miguel, just, turn it down a little...for god sakes, just a little.