Friday, March 31, 2006


this website is so hawt!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

def'nit'ly 'sexy time'...

1977 catalog:

Evil Biologist

I'll use the blog as our e-mail system since everyone else is T.C. for the SPT blog now that the weather's nice.

Want to watch a movie Sunday night? Maybe a decent one? Maybe cook some food?

Also, I passed out during the first Life of Birds, so let me know if you still want to hold hands and eat some popcorn.

Human Upgrades

Imagine how much coke she coul put up there.

He's got a while different chaka sign too.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

spread the word

Monday, March 27, 2006

can't touch deez
"Music Thing: Scrambled Hackz
Each week Tom Whitwell of Music Thing highlights the best of the new music gear that's coming out, as well as noteworthy vintage equipment:
It's like Karaoke gone wrong. You sing into the mic, but something very different comes out of the speakers. It's a jerky, warped version of MC Hammer trying to sing what you sang. Scrambled Hackz is a cobbled together mixture of ordinary hardware and extraordinary software, running across three programming languages.

Sven König, who designed it, calls it a Realtime-Mind-Music-Video-Re-De-Construction-Machine, and does a great job of explaining the whole system in this video (Also available here on YouTube). First, a source track is chopped into slices, each 1/16th of a beat long. Each slice has it's sound spectrum analysed, and is dropped into a database.

The fun starts when new audio comes into the system through the microphone. It is similarly sliced up, in real time. Each chunk is compared to the database, which starts spitting out chunks of the original source track (and it's accompanying video) to match the audio input.

In fact, singing doesn't work that well - the system certainly can't match words intelligibly. But human beatboxing into the mic sounds incredible, turning your boom-ka into kicks and snare drums from the original track. As an interface for a sampler, the human voice is a lot more intuitive than a keyboard and a bunch of knobs.

Sven has used the system (loaded with a ghastly collection of 80s hits) for live performance, and as a hysterical gallery installation. He's planning to release the software, currently a mess of C , Python and Pure Data, under the GNU GPL once he’s cleaned it up."

check the video.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

What the shit

is up with Sunday movie night?

Friday, March 24, 2006

A Dozen New Rules for 2006

more e-mail from the grandfather...

1. Stop giving me that pop-up ad for! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: he's mowing my lawn.

2. Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

3. Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: Lucky Bastards.

4. Ladies, leave your eyebrows a lone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

5. There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some Bourbon over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

6. The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

7. Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. Its right above the crack of your ass and it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

8. Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

9. If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

10. No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the middle class version of looting.

11. No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

12. When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

Two Note Solo version 1.0

Look at us, being wonderful wastoids.

I received this shit in the mail...

And then did this...I think I accidentally caught the Devil, dammit.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

john von erik spotted (sanpedro exclusive)

photo taken by the son of the goon who rigged the presidential election in ohio

Hey, that's not your house!

No, that's not Mife Elliotch, it's John Von Erik hanging at the coke palace across the driveway.

Snakes on a Plane

Internet buzz creates new ideas that will now be incorporated into the heavily anticipated movie:

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

top songs to listen to while admiring yourself in the mirror...

ordered by time of day, not preference.

before school: berlin - take my breath away

lunchtime: billy ocean - loverboy

pre-evening: eddie money - take me home tonight

pre-bedtime hygiene: rockwell - somebody's watching me

Wait for the finale

Turn up your speakers and be prepared to watch the best juggling ever.

OKAY that link doesn't link directly or whatever. LAME. But I'll glady show it to anyone or forward the e-mail.

In its place I reccomend the cat video I'll post above.

it might be a crackhead

leprechauns in mobile, alabama

Question: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?

Answer: A baby with forks in its eyes

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A use of MySpace even Daniel can condone...

Someone with more energy than I created a nice MONTAGE of lego-haired kids -- all culled from the wonderful world of!

Rock on:

awe hell naw, whassup, dawg? yr boy loren coleman strikes again!

Monday, March 20, 2006

people are f*d

gusto better get his act together...


m.t. elliott, evil biologist, gary, and cut-offs courtesy of pony. this shit is ugly.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Southpaw from Philly...

Will he have learned to block a punch at the age of 55, or just keep catching them with his face?

Let's Get Ready to Rrruuuuuummmmmmmbbblleee!!!

Friday, March 17, 2006

The truth about "Texas Cold"

Hi, Mike: Lone Star Beer should always be served very cold. The colder the better, but of course, not frozen. Our beer is shipped and stored not refrigerated. After being refrigerated, it should not be allowed to get warm or hot and then refrigerated again. It should be stored in a dry, not too warm place.

The word Cerveza is Spanish for beer. It was just a fun thing added to our packaging making it pretty unique.

Thank you for your continued support and loyalty to our fine product, Lone Star, The National Beer of Texas.

Dottie Huckle
Admin. Asst.
Pabst Brewing Co./Lone Star
San Antonio, TX

Monday, March 13, 2006

Science Monday (or O, those freaky deaky Dutch)

Here's a little article I came across that I thought was of general interest to the greater's by Schultz, W.W. et al. (a group from the Netherlands), published in 2005 in the British Medical Journal.

Objective: To find out whether taking images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and to find out whether former and current ideas about the anatomy during sexual intercourse and during female sexual arousal are based on assumptions or on facts.
Design: Observational study.
Setting: University hospital in the Netherlands.
Methods: Magnetic resonance imaging was used to study the female sexual response and the male and female genitals during coitus. Thirteen experiments were performed with eight couples and three single women.
Results: The images obtained showed that during intercourse in the "missionary position" the penis has the shape of a boomerang and 1/3 of its length consists of the root of the penis. During female sexual arousal without intercourse the uterus was raised and the anterior vaginal wall lengthened. The size of the uterus did not increase during sexual arousal.
Conclusion: Taking magnetic resonance images of the male and female genitals during coitus is feasible and contributes to understanding of anatomy.

Here's Figure 2 from the manuscript, and the relevant descriptive text. Wow!

Figure 2:Midsagittal image of the anatomy of sexual intercourse envisaged by R L Dickinson and drawn by R S Kendall.
The first careful study since the sketch by Leonardo da Vinci is of the interaction of male and female human genitals during coitus was published by Dickinson in 1933 (fig 2). A glass test tube as big as a penis in erection inserted into the vagina of female subjects who were sexually aroused by clitoral stimulation (occasionally with a vibrator) guided him in constructing his pictorial supposition.

Here's a picture of the "boomerang" penis shape described in the abstract

evening films + free parties

Monday, 13 March 2006
[X] 06:30PM a/k/a Tommy Chong (Alamo S. Lamar 1)
[X] 09:45PM Punk Like Me (ACC)
[X] 04:00PM High Score (Dobie)
[X] 09:00PM East Austin Stories (Hideout)
After Party 9pm / Velvet Spade (at corner of Red River and 10th) - Consumating
Tuesday, 14 March 2006
[X] 06:45PM East of Havana (Paramount)
[X] 09:45PM loudQUIETloud: a film about the Pixies (Alamo S. Lamar 1)
[X] 11:59PM S&Man (Alamo Downtown)
[X] 07:30PM The Treasures of Long Gone John (Dobie)
[X] 09:00PM East Austin Stories (Hideout)
[X] 09:30PM Rank (Alamo Downtown)
[X] 09:30PM The King (Paramount)
[X] 10:00PM Suffering and Smiling (ACC)
[X] 11:59PM Fuck (Alamo S. Lamar 1)
Wednesday, 15 March 2006
[X] 01:30PM Before the Music Dies (Paramount)
[X] 02:00PM Music Is My Life, Politics My Mistress (Dobie)
[X] 04:30PM Letters From the Other Side (ACC)
[X] 09:30PM V For Vendetta (Paramount)
Thursday, 16 March 2006
[X] 04:30PM Neil Young: Heart of Gold (Paramount)
[X] 07:15PM High Score (ACC)
[X] 09:45PM Air Guitar Nation (ACC)
Friday, 17 March 2006
[X] 11:00AM The Treasures of Long Gone John (ACC)
[X] 09:30PM State Vs Reed (Alamo Downtown)
R Kelly @ UT – 8pm

5:30 CALLA

423 Tillery (near E. 5th and Tillery, starts at 4pm)
Circle Takes the Square (7pm), Meneguar, Architects, Lonely Ritual

Emo's Annex (across Red River from Emo's)
Heavyweight Dub Champion w/ special guests Dr. Israel & AWOL One (5:15pm), Dengue Fever (4:30pm), The Slip (3:45pm), The Mutts (3:15pm), Oranger (2:30pm), Magneta Lane (2pm), Phosphorescent (1:30pm), The Herms (1pm)

Mrs. Bea's on the Rambler (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
The Double (7pm), Psychic Ills (6pm), Die! Die! Die! (5pm), Matt and Kim (4pm), Ill Ease (3pm), Shellshag (2pm), People (1pm) at Mrs. Bea's on the patio stage (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)

ATX Magazine's After Hours Soiree with
Special guest (4:10am), special guest (3:30am, Austin, TX - Black Angels?), The High Dials (2:50am), special guest (2:10am, London), special guest (1:40am, London), Harrisons (1:10am), Lomita (12:40am), Modena Vox (12:10am), Brothers and Sisters (11:50pm), For Those Who Know (11:30pm), Loxsly (11:10pm) at 5th and IH35 (21+ only, badges and wristbands free, small donation otherwise, free beer)

Auditorium Shores
Mr. Lif 5:30 p.m.
Blackalicious 6:30 p.m.
Spoon 7:00 p.m.
Echo & The Bunnymen 8:00 p.m.

Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., outside stage)
The Fuckemos (7:15pm), the Bellrays (6:30pm), Kalas (5:45pm), Zombi (5pm), Witch (4:15pm), Ozbow (3:30pm), Afrirampo (2:45pm), Art Brut (2pm), The Black Angels (1:15pm), Serena Maneesh (12:30pm)

Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., inside stage)
Lady Sovereign (7:30pm), Spank Rock (6:45pm), Test Icicles (6:15pm), Plan B (5:30pm), ZZZ (4:45pm), Rahim (4pm), Tarantula A.D. (3:15pm), Brightblack Morning Light (2:30pm), Jim Noir (1:45pm), Envelopes (1pm)

Longbranch Inn (1133 E. 11th St.)
Quintron & Miss Pussycat (7:30pm), Rye Coalition (6:45pm), Tyrades (6:15pm), Fatal Flyin' Guilloteens (5:30pm), Russian Circles (4:45pm), Everloving Lightningheart (4pm), Islands (3:15pm), Jakobinarina (2:30pm), The Joggers (1:45pm), Quit Your Day Job (1pm) at the Fri.

Matthew Hebert (8pm) -

Flamingo Cantina (noon - 6pm)
Kill Rock Stars Party - Comet Gain, Wooden Wand and the Vanishing Voice, Spider and the Webs, Knife Skills, Imaad Wasif

3810 Sycamore Dr. (free)
The 11th Annual SXEast Austin with
Pink Mountaintops (6pm), The Lemurs (5pm), The Long Winters (4pm), Rocky Votolato (3pm), Figurines (2pm), Ranson Tullis & the Luxury Liners (1pm)
Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., outside stage)
Kinky Friedman (7:15pm), Roky Erickson (6:30pm), Favourite Sons (5:45pm), Towers of London (5pm), Priestess (4:15pm), Morning After Girls (3:30pm), Noisettes (2:45pm), Guillemots (2pm), Mystery Jets (1:15pm), Man Man (12:30pm), DJs Kris Chen, Knox Robinson at

Victory Grill (1104 E. 11th St., inside stage)
You Say Party! We Say Die! (7:30pm), Annie (6:45pm), The Presets (6:15pm), Kid 606 (5:30pm), Drop the Lime (4:45pm), Cadence Weapon (4pm), Dead Boy and the Elephant Men (3:15pm), Micah P. Hinson (2:30pm), Lonely Dear (1:45pm), Tuung (1pm) at

Longbranch Inn (1133 E. 11th St.)
Vaux (7:30pm), Whitehouse (6:45pm), Saviours (6:15pm), CROM (5:30pm), Diamond Nights (4:45pm), Whitey Houston (4pm), High Dials (3:15pm), Foreign Born (2:30pm), The Affair (1:45pm), Elliott Brood (1pm) at the


5:15 - 6:00 - Robert Pollard

Sound On Sound Records and Room Service (100 block of North Loop)
Chunklet/Monitor/Buddyhead day (and maybe night) party with
New Flesh (8:30pm), Thunderbirds Are Now! (8pm), Jai Alai Savant (7:30pm), Baroness (7pm), Comet Gain (6:30pm), Magnolia Electric Co. (6pm), Big Bear (5:30pm), Hudson Bell (5pm), Fatal Flyin' Guilloteens (4:30pm), Torche (4pm), Part Chimp (3:30pm), Rye Coalition (3pm), Elf Power (2:30pm), The Carbonas (2pm), Black Heart Procession (1:30pm), The Selmanaires (1pm), Ted Leo (12:30pm), Swearing at Motorists (noon)

(1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Todd P and the Rambler present
Drums and Tuba (9pm), Wooden Wand (8pm), Jack Rose (ex-Pelt, 7pm), Parts and Labor (6pm), Bring Back the Guns (5pm), Knife Skills (4pm), Ghengis Tron (3pm), JEFF (2pm), The Old Haunts (1pm), Awesome Cool Dudes (noon) at Mrs. Bea's on the patio stage

(1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Walken (8:30pm), Kalas (members of High On Fire, 7:30pm), The Bats (NZ, 6:30pm), Very Be Careful (5:30pm), nO things (4:30pm), Cortina (NZ, 3:30pm), DC Snipers (2:30pm), Zombi (1:30pm), Hightower (12:30pm), Night After Night (11:30am) at Mrs. Bea's on the Rambler

Emo's Annex (across Red River from Emo's, doors open at noon)
The Windish Agency/Pitchfork party with
Art Brut (5:30pm), Rjd2 (DJ set, 5pm), Love is All (4:30pm), Matthew Dear (DJ set, 4pm), Hot Chip (3:30pm), Spank Rock (3pm), The Juan Maclean (2:30pm), Ladytron (DJ set, 1:30pm), José González (1pm), Death Vessel (12:30pm)

Emo's IV (601 Red River)
SC Distribution presents
Frog Eyes (5pm), Horns of Happiness (4:15pm), My Brightest Diamond (3:15pm), Psychic Ills (2:30pm), Karl Blau (1:45pm), Evangelicals (1pm), Castanets (12:15pm)

Club Deville (900 Red River)
Insound party with
Clap Your hands Say Yeah (5:35pm), Serena Maneesh (4:45pm), , Pink Mountaintops (3:55pm), The Boy Least Likely To (3:05pm), Love is All (2:15pm)
Friday Night
Management Music Division and Team Clermont present The Eastside Scootenanny with
Fiery Furnaces (10:15pm), Earlimart (9:30pm), Friends of Dean Martinez (8:45pm), John Vanderslice (8pm), Crystal Skulls (7:15pm), Scout Niblet (6:30pm), Joggers (5:45pm), Zykos (5pm), The Glass Family (4:15pm), The Brokedown (3:30pm), Vacation Gold (2:45pm), Dynamo (2pm) at Red's Scoot Inn (1308 E.4th St., 2-11pm)

Big Orange Warehouse – Across from Austin Daze
afterhours party with Voxtrot, Sound Team, others TBA at Big Orange
Saturday 18th
Mrs. Bea's on the Rambler (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Todd P and the Rambler present
Carinne Rose (9pm), Night After Night (8pm), Tomorrow's Friend (7pm), DMBQ (Japan, 6pm), Big Bear (5pm), zZz (NL, 4pm), Graycion (3pm), Nat Baldwin and Spencer Kingman (2pm), Walken (1pm), Hightower (noon) at Mrs. Bea's on the patio stage (1104 E. 6th St., free, all ages)
Celebration (8:30pm), Rogers Sisters (7:30pm), Bad Wizard (6:30pm), Mikaela's Friend (5:30pm), Dirty Projectors (4:30pm), Coco Solid (NZ, 3:30pm), Spider and the Webs (ex-Bikini Kill, 2:30pm), Pterodactyl (1:30pm), Best Fwends (12:30pm)

207 E. 53rd St. (North Loop and Avenue F)
Northern Star Records Showcase AKA North Loop Block Party with
The High Dials, The Black Angels, Vandelles, Lovetones, Quarter After, Brian Jonestown Massacre

802 SAN MARCOS STREET -- Noon to 8 PM
The Magic Numbers,Witch (feat. J Mascis and members of Feathers),Mazarin (feat. members of Blood Feathers),Gris Gris,Mike Wexler,Lavender Diamond,Nethers,Archie Bronson Outfit,Collosal Yes,Tralala,Muldoons (Mini-Set),Death Vessel (Mini-Set)
Saturday night
Kemado Records/Decibel Invaders party with
Dungen, The Sword, Witch, Saviours at Austin Daze (East 4th St., across from Big Orange, next to Red's Scoot Inn)
Sunday night
Alejandro Escovedo (midnight), Grady (11pm), The Word Association (10pm), Sally Timms and Jon Langford (9pm), john Schooley and his One Man Band (8:10pm), Pete Wylie (7:40pm), Nick Tremulis (7pm) at the Continental Club (doors at 7:30pm)

more alcohol = lowered productivity (a blog expose)

Contagious yawning, the onset of a yawn triggered by seeing, hearing, reading, or thinking about another person yawn is a well-documented phenomenon. The mechanisms that drive contagious yawning are as yet unknown, but there is recent evidence of a link between contagious yawning and self-processing that is negatively impacted by schizotypal personality traits. The neural substrates involved in contagious yawning, however, are unknown. Here, using fMRI, we show that viewing someone yawn evokes unique neural activity in the posterior cingulate and precuneus. Because of the role these areas play in self-processing, our findings provide further support for the hypothesis that contagious yawning may be part of a neural network involved in empathy.

Friday, March 10, 2006


I just wanted a little Rocky v. Drago action, but I was "quashed". On a side note, it's been way to long since a bbq. What about a picnic tomorrow, at the park and shit?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


let's buy fossils

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Hurricane Has Landed!

After a night of excessive alcohol and poor life decisions Harry's mother found herself face down on the vomit-stenched couch in a parlor room full of clothes.

Harry did his best to console her, arm draped across her back just so, but inside he was sad. For weeks Haryy hadn't seen his mother, and this is the quality time she promised to spend with him? Just look at his face, look how disappointed he is.

Before you go feeling too sorry for that little cat, keep in mind he's a bit of a hyporcite himslef. Lately he's taken to food like mommy did the sauce. Nearly doubling his weight, Harry now weighs a portly 10lbs. Just last week a binge on Alley Cat left him puking on Elliott's couch, too bloated to move.

uno mas

everyone, meet jihad muhammad

PPDeez nuts!

What's with us owing money for the internet? I thought you went to Pharmaco to pay for the 'nett.

Seriously, ain't this blog making enough bank to pay for the connection yet? Maybe it's time we started selling SPT merch too.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

$10 blow-jobs from latino she-males

are you guys getting these right now? or were wednesday night's activities too taxing?

Palo alto is flat

and i don't have swimming trunks. for the heated pool, of course.

Liver Regeneration.....ummm, is that what you call pissing yourself?

Now, I am not going to say that I am dissapointed or upset at any of your actions. In fact, I am unbelievabley proud of you boys for sticking it out two months. Two glorious months of productivity, early rising, smiles and healthy livers.

Now, I hear some nasty rumors; rumors of puking, blacking out and pissing oneself. Surely when you first decided to tackle this proverbial monkey on your backs, it was to clean up your act, not fucking binge on booze a few weeks later. Look in the mirror at yourselves.

Chill out boys, save some partying for Saturday when I get home. Hey eyes, thanks for puking on my bed shitbag. And Sammy, just because you're a cripple now, doesn't mean you can get away with that shit.

And Miguel, just, turn it down a little...for god sakes, just a little.

oh... those guys

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pukey malone
drunky macgee